Oh, the joys! (13 months old)

Two days ago my sweet girl turned 13 months old, so I guess I should finally write about what's going on with us. Our lives have currently been revolving around Kate's nursing strike. Almost three weeks ago, Kate decided to abruptly stop nursing. She went from nursing six times a day to zero, which is why it is called a strike as opposed to weaning. Babies who wean typically do it gradually and are happy. Babies who go on strike stop nursing abruptly and are unhappy. And boy, have we been experiencing the unhappy. Basically my life has revolved around pumping and dealing with a child that has an extremely low coping threshold and is having trouble sleeping. Oh, the joys!

I have tried everything I can think of to get this girl back on the boob. She refuses, often quite adamantly. I have been told that her nursing strike is lasting longer than is typical (most babies start nursing again after 5-7 days). I was starting to get very cranky myself with having to pump six times a day, so I decided to decrease it down to four and Kate has started getting a little cow's milk to make up the difference. I am starting to lose hope that she will ever nurse again. I am trying to cope with all sorts of very conflicting thoughts about breastfeeding and motherhood. I know that many people only nurse until 1 year, but I had wanted to nurse Kate for longer. If she were weaning gradually, I think I would be much more ok with this. But it has been hard to see my baby so unhappy (though some of this was clearly due to teething --gotta love how everything happens at once!) She clearly wants the milk, but she won't nurse. It is extremely frustrating.

But, I do have to say I feel proud of myself. Kate received the absolute best nutrition for 13 months, and I plan to keep pumping for her and trying to get her to nurse again for a while longer. How much longer? I don't have the slightest idea. We'll see how things go. She seems to be coping better with not nursing, but she still can't cope without her milk. So we'll just have to see. I am becoming much more comfortable with the idea of weaning. I am learning not to judge myself. And I am learning that I am just not in control of everything (ouch, it hurts just to write that). I can't force a toddler to nurse. So really, I'm leaving the decision up to Kate, though I think she may have already made her choice.

But I also feel a little bit bad. We have been having such a hard time with this nursing strike thing that I feel like I failed to see what amazing things this little girl has been doing. Now that I have been giving myself a bit of a break from having to pump so much, I feel like my eyes have been opened up to this gorgeous little girl again.

Here is what I see when I look at 13 month old Baby Kate:

I see a little girl pulling up shirts to try and find bellybuttons.
I see little hands gentling caressing a big, black, furry giant.
I hear her through the monitor, blowing raspberries when she should be sleeping.
I see her little fingers pointing -- to windows, her dolls, and pictures of Jesus.
I hear little words uttered with so much excitement: more! all done! milk! woof!
I watch her as she begins to figure out puzzles and other toys.
I feel little hands clinging to my shirt as she climbs into my arms.
I feel a little head rest on my shoulder as I sing her a goodnight song.
I see her imitating - putting phones to her ear, brushing her teeth and hair, and sticking bows on top of her head.
I watch a naked bum crawl away from me during a diaper change.
I see a little girl, a little girl who is starting to look more and more like me.
And I think, "Oh, the joys!"

Random Little Happenings

I haven't posted lately, but that's not from lack of things to write about! However, for now I will just post some pictures and videos showing what Kate has been up to. Here's what's going on in this little girl's life:

Just being sweet

She loves to climb the stairs

Playing with her puzzle

She has been walking around the furniture a lot more recently

This is what happens when Mom is stuck on the couch for 20 minutes

Here she is playing with a toy

Trying to eat every last bite of oatmeal

Learning how to do her puzzle - she has become much better at this in just the past few days

Those are just a few fun things Kate has been doing. She is truly showing me that she is a toddler now, but I'll write more about those adventures later :)

Bye-Bye, Binky

Yesterday we said bye-bye to Kate's binkies. I was a little emotional. I had made the decision awhile ago that we would kick the binky habit by the time Kate was 1, but it was still hard to come to terms with the fact that my baby was growing up. But yesterday morning I mustered up the courage, told Kate that she was a big girl and that she was "all done" with binkies, and had her throw them in the trash. Kate really only gets her binky when she sleeps, so I was pretty nervous when her first nap came around. But you know what? She did fine. She got her little lovie blanket and went right to sleep. Afternoon nap comes around. She did just fine again. Maybe I was more hooked on the binky than she was? Well, bedtime came around and that was much harder. But to be fair, she had a hard time the night before with her binky, so hard nights happen. But I definitely think the binky would have helped. However, after a lot of tears and frustration she finally went to bed. And stayed asleep all night long. Sans binky. When I went into her room to spy on her she looked like a little sleeping angel. Success! Really, this whole transition is going very smoothly, seeing as it is the first time I have really ever had to wean her from something. And while I missed the binky a little at first, it sure is nice to have one less thing to worry about!

Ok, I normally am not a fan of binky in mouth pictures. But in honor of the end of the binky, I think this picture is adorable. It's of Kate's 1st time on the boat.

(More) Birthday Fun

I figured there were so many pictures in the last post that videos would be overkill. Actually, all of these videos in this post is probably overkill. But hey, she's my baby and it was her big day. So here are all the videos I took.

This video is actually from before her birthday. It is of her opening her first present, a jogging stroller from her G.G.

Showing off her awesome skillz

Blowing out candles

Daintily eating her cake

Opening a present. (Yes, we used Christmas wrapping paper.)

Playing with a present

What? You think I went overboard with the videos? Just wait 'til her sweet sixteen ;)

Birthday Fun

Kate's birthday was really low key. But I think she liked it that way, because she seems to be a low key kid. So after her morning nap we took her to the duck pond at BYU and had a picnic. She loved the ducks. But when we first got there she kept insisting that ducks say "woof". Hahahahaha. After being at the pond for a little while she began saying "duhduhduh" to mean "duck".

Making mischief

Playing with Daddy

Ducks are so fun!

After the duck pond and another nap we ran some errands and came home for cake. I made Kate a banana cake, and since I had extra time while she was napping I decided to get fancy and decorate it.

Just call me "Cake Boss"

Watching Kate eat the cake was adorable. Instead of the typical one year old cake smash, she decided to daintily pick off little pieces of her cake. With help from me and Brett, the piece eventually got smaller and smaller, until she very suddenly gave up her dainty side and shoved the whole thing in her mouth.

Daddy eating cake is hilarious

Kate shared a bite of her cake with Deacon...and then whacked him in the face.

The whole cake ordeal took so long that we didn't even have time to do presents. I guess that is what's wonderful about first birthdays. You really aren't under any pressure! So we did presents the following morning. Kate had fun opening and playing with her new toys.

Overall, Kate's birthday was fun, relaxing, and full of smiles. And while I do wish I could have held a big bash with all our family and friends, it was also fun to just be together as a family and reflect on that wonderful day 1 year ago when our little family went from 2 to 3. Or 3 to 4 if you count Deacon :)

1 Year

Kate is 1 year old!

I would now like to congratulate myself. I can't keep a plant alive for more than a week. But I can keep a kid alive for a whole year. Win!

I don't even know what to write. I am overcome with emotion right now. That is probably because we just got back from Kate's 1 year doctor's appointment. The appointment went fine. Going to the lab to get her blood drawn did not. It is seriously heart-wrenching to listen to your child scream "all done!!" while the phlebotomist struggles to keep her foot from dripping blood all over the floor. Yeah, cue mom emotions.

The last year has been amazing. Incredible. Heart-wrenching. Joyful. Tearful. Messy. Filled with laughter. With smiles. With giggles and chuckles. Exhausting. Exciting. Anxious. A little fearful. Very prayerful.

And I am so grateful for every moment of every day. Every diaper change. Every nursing session. Every time she wouldn't fall asleep. Every time she would. Every snuggle. Every smile. Every tear. Every milestone. Every. Single. Thing.

I have been reflecting a lot on the meaning of birthdays. More than anything, I am grateful that Kate had the opportunity to come to Earth. To receive a body.

Kate, I need you to know how amazing that is. You made a decision before you were ever born into this world. You chose to follow the plan of your Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. You chose the plan of happiness. You chose the plan of salvation. Remember that.

 

 

I'll end the post with this picture. It shows how big you have become, but how little you still are. It reminds me that no matter how big you get, you will always be my Baby Kate. And I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to be your mommy.

The Cute Factor

In just a few days my baby will be 1. And while she has been cute since the moment she came into this world, recently she is just becoming so sweet. She is entering that stage (I refuse to say the word "toddler") where she takes her cuteness to a whole new level. Here are some random things she has been doing lately that just melt my heart.

She waves hello and goodbye. She waves to me when I first come into her room in the morning and say "hi". Today she waved to Brett as he was running out the door to go to school. I don't know how to describe how cute it is, but sometimes when I see her happily waving my heart feels like it might burst from joy.

She escapes from me during every single diaper change. There is nothing cuter than a naked baby butt crawling in the opposite direction from you.

She swats at flies (specifically the one living in our kitchen that I can't seem to kill). She saw me doing it, and so now whenever she sees the fly she waves her arms madly (and seems very proud of herself).

She follows simple directions. Seriously, as I'm making this list I'm not sure why I find all these things about Kate so stinkin' cute. But when I say, "Can I have your binky please?" and she hands me her binky, it is just adorable. Writing it down just doesn't do it justice. I guess I'll have to start taking more videos. She will also follow other directions like "sit down" and "no touch" (okay, she doesn't really listen when I say no touch, but I know she knows what I mean!)

When you ask her what the dog says, she tries to say "woof". It sounds more like "fffff" or sometimes "ooofff". But really, could anything be more sweet? Nope. She will also sometimes say "mmmmm" when you ask her what the cow says. Not quite as adorable as "woof," but it's close.

If you ask her, "Where is Kate's tongue?" she sticks her tongue out at you. Haha. That's right, some people teach their kids body parts like eyes, nose, and ears. I started with her tongue. Might as well take advantage of her sticking out her tongue at me while it's still cute, right? She also likes to point out my tongue by trying to grab it. Not as cute, but she still gets away with it for now.

She still sometimes sleeps on her belly with her butt sticking straight up in the air. It looks horribly uncomfortable, but is also the cutest thing ever.

This picture was horribly difficult to take without waking her up. But at least you can kind of see how cute it is. 

Looking back at what I have written, it is becoming more and more apparent that my baby really is becoming a toddler. But I still have one more day to live in denial before it's official...

Look at that dimple! Whenever we went out when she was littler people would comment on her hair. Now they comment on her dimple.