Cuteness Update

Dear Kate,

Here is a summary of some of the most adorable things you have been doing recently:

• Saying "oops". Sounds more like "pss" when you say it. But it's so cute. 

• Saying "meow". You just learned this today. It sounds more like "mauw" when you say it. But at least now you aren't insisting that cats say "woof". And you say it in this little high-pitched voice that is oh so sweet.

• Saying "Hop on Pop". Ok, when you say this it sounds something like "hop pa". But the point is that I think you have made it clear what your favorite book is. It's the only one you ask for by name. The other night you even took it to bed with you. It was my favorite book when I was little, too. 

• Your other favorite book (beside The Very Hungry Caterpillar) is How Do I Love You. There is one page that reads, "I love you as the dancing snowflakes love the winter's chill". Whenever we get to this page you start to dance. I didn't even teach you this. One day you just heard me read the word "dancing" and started doing it all on your own. It's adorable!!

• Every time you hear someone sneeze you yell "achoo". I have been trying to teach you to say "bless you" instead. Not working. Yelling "achoo" seems to be way more fun.

After reading over this list, it's quite clear that you are very focused on language right now. It's amazing to see your little huge personality shining through and how you focus on learning the things that are most interesting to you. I love you so much baby girl. It's such a wonderful miracle to see you learn so many new things every day. And I'm not saying that to be cliche. You are literally learning new things every day! Even though you won't have a memory of this time in your life, I want you to know that being 1 is just amazing. Honestly, my original goal with this blog was just to record the first year of your life for you. It was to be your baby book. But I just can't stop writing now, you are doing too many awesome things to not try and record them all.

Oh, the joys! (13 months old)

Two days ago my sweet girl turned 13 months old, so I guess I should finally write about what's going on with us. Our lives have currently been revolving around Kate's nursing strike. Almost three weeks ago, Kate decided to abruptly stop nursing. She went from nursing six times a day to zero, which is why it is called a strike as opposed to weaning. Babies who wean typically do it gradually and are happy. Babies who go on strike stop nursing abruptly and are unhappy. And boy, have we been experiencing the unhappy. Basically my life has revolved around pumping and dealing with a child that has an extremely low coping threshold and is having trouble sleeping. Oh, the joys!

I have tried everything I can think of to get this girl back on the boob. She refuses, often quite adamantly. I have been told that her nursing strike is lasting longer than is typical (most babies start nursing again after 5-7 days). I was starting to get very cranky myself with having to pump six times a day, so I decided to decrease it down to four and Kate has started getting a little cow's milk to make up the difference. I am starting to lose hope that she will ever nurse again. I am trying to cope with all sorts of very conflicting thoughts about breastfeeding and motherhood. I know that many people only nurse until 1 year, but I had wanted to nurse Kate for longer. If she were weaning gradually, I think I would be much more ok with this. But it has been hard to see my baby so unhappy (though some of this was clearly due to teething --gotta love how everything happens at once!) She clearly wants the milk, but she won't nurse. It is extremely frustrating.

But, I do have to say I feel proud of myself. Kate received the absolute best nutrition for 13 months, and I plan to keep pumping for her and trying to get her to nurse again for a while longer. How much longer? I don't have the slightest idea. We'll see how things go. She seems to be coping better with not nursing, but she still can't cope without her milk. So we'll just have to see. I am becoming much more comfortable with the idea of weaning. I am learning not to judge myself. And I am learning that I am just not in control of everything (ouch, it hurts just to write that). I can't force a toddler to nurse. So really, I'm leaving the decision up to Kate, though I think she may have already made her choice.

But I also feel a little bit bad. We have been having such a hard time with this nursing strike thing that I feel like I failed to see what amazing things this little girl has been doing. Now that I have been giving myself a bit of a break from having to pump so much, I feel like my eyes have been opened up to this gorgeous little girl again.

Here is what I see when I look at 13 month old Baby Kate:

I see a little girl pulling up shirts to try and find bellybuttons.
I see little hands gentling caressing a big, black, furry giant.
I hear her through the monitor, blowing raspberries when she should be sleeping.
I see her little fingers pointing -- to windows, her dolls, and pictures of Jesus.
I hear little words uttered with so much excitement: more! all done! milk! woof!
I watch her as she begins to figure out puzzles and other toys.
I feel little hands clinging to my shirt as she climbs into my arms.
I feel a little head rest on my shoulder as I sing her a goodnight song.
I see her imitating - putting phones to her ear, brushing her teeth and hair, and sticking bows on top of her head.
I watch a naked bum crawl away from me during a diaper change.
I see a little girl, a little girl who is starting to look more and more like me.
And I think, "Oh, the joys!"

Random Little Happenings

I haven't posted lately, but that's not from lack of things to write about! However, for now I will just post some pictures and videos showing what Kate has been up to. Here's what's going on in this little girl's life:

Just being sweet

She loves to climb the stairs

Playing with her puzzle

She has been walking around the furniture a lot more recently

This is what happens when Mom is stuck on the couch for 20 minutes

Here she is playing with a toy

Trying to eat every last bite of oatmeal

Learning how to do her puzzle - she has become much better at this in just the past few days

Those are just a few fun things Kate has been doing. She is truly showing me that she is a toddler now, but I'll write more about those adventures later :)