Kate's Birth Story

Ok, even though I'm starting this blog several weeks after she was born, I figure I should still start at the beginning. So here it is (and it is very long). Oh, and while I feel it is free from any overly intimate details, please note that it is a birth story (and therefore describes, well, birth).

Katherine Elizabeth was born on Friday, September 17th, 2010 at 12:48pm. She weighed 8lbs 8oz and was 21 inches long. For me, her birth story starts a few days before she was born. 

On Wednesday of that week Brett and I had our last hypnobirthing class. Now, you are probably thinking that I must be living as an underground hippie in order to be doing hypnobirthing, but I promise I haven’t yet given up my pencil skirt and heels for a tie-dye skirt and Birkenstocks. However, I really wanted a natural birth and felt I needed to take a class. One of the midwives from the practice I was seeing recommended hypnobirthing and said it had a high success rate when it came to natural birth. I was skeptical at first, but ended up loving it. The class was exactly what I needed. It focused on trusting your body and relaxing, and taught me some really valuable techniques and positions to use during labor. After class ended we went to pick up Brett’s sister Kiasa and her family from the airport; they had flown into town to visit for a few days. Brett and I had been talking about how fun it would be to have the baby while they were here, but seeing as I was only 38 weeks we weren’t really serious. 

The next day Brett went to class and I spent the day walking around BYU with Kiasa, Brian, Isabella, and Oliver. I was having contractions all day, but nothing that was keeping me from walking around and having fun. I didn’t really think anything of it. 

That afternoon Brett and I went to my 38 week midwife appointment. We saw a midwife named Jennie who we had only met once before, but I really liked her and felt comfortable with her. She asked me if I wanted an exam to see if I was dilated and I declined. I didn’t want to be disappointed or excited and figured that Kate would come when she was ready regardless of whether or not I had an exam (and I guess I was right about that). Towards the end of the appointment Jennie jokingly mentioned that she was on call the next day. 

For the past several weeks Brett and I had been telling Kate she needed to be born on a Friday so that Brett could have the most time off of school for her birth. I told her that I didn’t care if she came early or late, she just needed to come on a Friday. I had the feeling for the past week or two that she was going to come on the Friday when Kiasa and Brian were in town, but I kept on ignoring it. It just seemed so unlikely. 

Thursday afternoon after my appointment Brett went to a club social and I stayed home to relax. While he was away I noticed that the contractions I had been having all day seemed to be more intense and closer together. However, I figured that this was probably due to the fact that I had spent all day walking, and maybe hadn’t drank enough water to stay well hydrated. I started watching a movie and called Brett to pester him to come home. 

Shortly after Brett came home he went to bed (he had to work at 4am the next morning) and I tried to go to bed too, but I couldn’t sleep through the contractions. I guess that should have told me something, but I was in denial. So I went back downstairs and called my cousin (ok, she’s not really my cousin, but the whole first cousin once removed or whatever the relation is a mouthful) Elizabeth who’s a labor and delivery nurse. We chatted for a long time, and I could talk through a lot of the contractions. After our conversation I went upstairs to take a bath, fully thinking that after the bath I would be able to go to bed. I was wrong.

At this point things start to blend together in my memory and I’m not sure exactly what happened and in what order. But 2am rolled around and I could no longer get through the contractions by myself, so I woke up Brett. I must have looked like I was in semi-good shape, because Brett was under the impression that he was going to leave me and go to work. I corrected him on this, and luckily he was able to find someone to cover his shift (which is not an easy task at 3am!). 

Though I don’t remember exactly what happened next, I do know that I practically destroyed our house while in labor. I moved around furniture, made Brett move the birthing ball up and down the stairs, took several baths and showers, and threw pillows and towels all over the place. However, the contractions were still pretty manageable and I was not really in pain, though the contractions were very uncomfortable. I was having back labor, and Brett used some of the techniques we learned in class to help me get through the contractions. I listened to my relaxation cds for some of the time, and really focused on my breathing. Some of the time I remember being fairly quiet, and some of the time Brett told me I was going to wake up the neighbors. In between contractions I was making Brett pack our hospital bag (this was something that was on my to-do list for the weekend…guess I shouldn’t have waited so long). Oh, and Brett was also napping in between my contractions. Looking back on it, this makes me laugh. 

Around 5am I began to think that I couldn’t do it anymore and that maybe we should go to the hospital. I was starting to lose control of my breathing and my body during contractions. Brett convinced me to stay home and told me I was in control of my body. That one statement helped me a lot. I don’t remember anything that happened after that point, other than I was laboring at home with Brett helping me.

At around 10am I was leaning against the wall separating our living room and kitchen during a really intense contraction and my water broke. I noticed there was meconium in the water. Seeing this, and already knowing I was group b strep positive, and I knew it was time to get to the hospital. I told Brett to call the midwife and put our stuff in the car (which included the car-seat we had yet to install!) while I took a quick shower. As it turns out, our midwife was in Alpine and had to rush to get to the hospital. Maybe it would have been helpful for me to not have been in denial about being in labor and call her beforehand…oh well! 

Luckily the hospital is only about 5 minutes from us. Brett pulled into the emergency lane and helped me waddle out of the car and into triage (after I gave birth a nurse came in to inform Brett that our car was still in the emergency lane). I was really scared to have the nurse check me. I was scared I would only be a few centimeters dilated, and if that was the case I thought I would ask for an epidural because the contractions were so intense. I was overjoyed when the nurse announced that I was almost 9cm. The nurses got a wheelchair for me to get me into my delivery room, but after seeing the look on my face they decided to just wheel the bed I was laying in down the hall and into my room. I don’t think there was any way I could have walked even the short distance from my bed to the wheelchair at that point. 

I should mention that I was really scared to give birth at a hospital, even with a midwife. I really wanted a natural, intervention-free birth, and I knew that the policies at this hospital were not entirely in line with what I desired. I also found out very late in my pregnancy that the midwives I was seeing were not as supportive of what I wanted as they originally seemed to be. Just the week before, I had even contemplated switching to a free-standing birthing center instead of a hospital. However, it just didn’t feel right. Something told me I needed to give birth at a hospital (and I’m glad I did). Brett and I had prepared a birth plan to give to the nurses at the hospital to communicate what we wanted, but of course our printer wasn’t working that morning and so we showed up to the hospital without it. I was concerned about this, but it ended up being absolutely fine.

My midwife showed up after they got me into my room, checked me, and told me to tell her when I felt the urge to push. I never really did, so I tried laboring down with the breathing techniques I had learned. Maybe it would have worked in time, but after about an hour the midwife told me that Kate wasn’t really coming down and that I needed to change my breathing to a more active push, and I chose to follow her advice. They got out a squatting bar and I used that for a while. I have to say, I felt really good during pushing, and did not feel pain, though it was extremely hard work. I pushed for another hour, and I was really exhausted, but I amazed all the nurses as a smiled in-between every contraction. After using the squatting bar I lay down on my side and shortly thereafter Kate was born. 

Brett mentioned to the midwife that we wanted delayed cord clamping, but she said there wasn’t enough time and handed him the scissors. I knew by the tone in her voice that she was serious, and so Brett (who was thoroughly taken aback) cut the cord and went with Kate over to a table where the respiratory therapist sucked the meconium she had aspirated out of her. 

Meanwhile, I began to hemorrhage. This was the worst part. Of course my IV (which I was receiving antibiotics from for the group b strep) stopped working right as I started bleeding, so the nurse gave me a shot in the leg and started an IV in my other arm to start me on pitocin to stop the bleeding. Then the nurses started practically jumping on and whacking my belly to get my uterus to contract. This hurt as bad, if not worse, than labor. At this point the nurse told me she could give me something for the pain and anxiety, and I practically said, “Shoot me up”. But they had Kate back on my chest moments later, and I stopped paying attention to what was going on with me and focused all of my attention on her gorgeous little face. 

After they got the bleeding under control and the midwife was stitching me up I felt something shaking by my legs. Since I was numb, I asked her whether it was me that was shaking. She said that it was her hand; she got an adrenaline rush when I started bleeding. It was then that I realized the bleeding may have been more serious than I thought. But I still didn’t realize how much blood I had lost until later on when I tried to sit up. It was awful. Even though I only passed out once while in the hospital, I could hardly walk at all until several days after Kate was born. I had to leave the hospital in a wheelchair, and felt like an invalid. Even now, six weeks later, and I still don’t feel completely normal, though I’m much better. I really didn’t anticipate recovery to be so hard.

Kate also had a rough first few days of life. Her white blood cell count was high and so she had to be treated for a possible infection with IV antibiotics. We ended up staying in the hospital for a little over 48 hours, which was not in my original plan, but we both really needed it. 

I really feel like Kate and I had a wonderful and easy birth. Labor felt like it went very quickly, and though there were times when I doubted myself I overall felt like the contractions were very manageable. As far as pain, it really wasn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be. At one point after Kate was born the nurse had mentioned that the pain of labor I had just experienced was a “10” on the 1-10 pain scale. I remember thinking, “No, that wasn’t a 10”. I also told Brett afterward that I’m pretty sure breaking his back hurt much, much worse. I would definitely do natural birth again. Even when the contractions were really intense, I still felt so happy, and was able to smile and chat in-between them. It felt so good to hear the nurses and midwives telling me what a great job I was doing during labor. Brett told me afterward that he didn’t actually believe that I would be able to do it without the drugs. I told him that he did a really good job at lying to me. He was so supportive through the entire process; I literally could not have had the natural birth I wanted without him. I’m so glad that labor went smoothly for us, because both Kate and I needed our energy to deal with the complications that happened after the birth. 

Despite the complications, I couldn’t be happier with the birth of my daughter; it was perfect. All my fears about laboring at the hospital ended up being pretty irrelevant because I labored at home. I absolutely loved Jennie, the midwife who delivered Kate, as well as the nurses and other staff. They took such good care of us and were very supportive of what we wanted. After Jennie had finished attending to me, she kissed my forehead and then Kate’s as she said goodbye. I felt like those kisses came from my mom, who even though she couldn’t be there physically, was certainly there spiritually helping Kate be born into this world.